Confused Heart

I woke up this morning feeling lonely
My heart seems empty, seem something's missing.
Theres like a hole of emptiness I can't describe
Damn! so confusing, why play with my heart???

I've been asking my self too many questions today
But the answers I can't find it just slip away
Hmmm... what does my heart really want?
I seem to found the answer but today it seems undone.

What do I have to do to solved this confused heart?
It seems calling his name but wanting others heart...
Did that dream sort to change something from my present?
Does my heart still holding on the pledge we've made?

I pledged to wait for him as he promised to be back
I hate broken vows, but it seems that I'm breaking it apart.

I want him near but the longing seems to disappear...
I need him here but the urge to seems letting go

Which is real what is true?
I don't want to go on but I want to continue...
My heart is so confused
Tell me what is real and what is true...

Dreaming of you

I dreamth of you last night
You waved goodbye and I cried
Your face and image was slowly fading away
But then I grabbed your hand hold you so tightly...

You hugged me so tight and we started our journey
From the first day we met and to the adventures we've made
You showed me how much you love me
And you reminded me the words that we both pledge...

You asked me why
You asked me what happened
You asked me what's wrong
You asked me if I'm over you...

I only answered you with a soft and gentle cry
You hold my hand, hugged me tight and whispered me softly
... Go on, just cry
I'm here now, on my shoulder you can cry...

I was just busy but never forgetting you
I was just away but never in my heart you went astray
For you know that I love you...

Your words sooths into my inner senses so deep so true

You asked me once more:

Are you over me?
Don't you love me anymore?
Remember those days
Remember those days
and remember our promises...

Please don't let go
Tell me that you still love me so
Tell me that I'm still the one that you love
Because in my heart, replacing you I can not.

I'm here now, I now have time
I want you back, I want you mine
Just be mine like the same old time.
Be mine...

I just replied with a simple smile and cry...

PS: My heart is confused.

Carry On My Dear

Carry on my dear, we'll be together pretty near
Distance indeed a hindrance yet somehow it's important.
For in distance I realized how much you mean to me
In distance I discover how much I want you near me.

Carry on my dear, strenghten up your patience a bit
For one day, one day when you wake up I'll be holding your face
Whisper words "I love you" with morning kisses and sweet embrace.

Carry on my dear for my heart beats for only you
You don't need to worry and no need to wonder
If my love fades or my love disappear
For my love for you is here, just here and getting stronger.

Carry on my dear, I am though far but near
You are far but near as well
For in my heart with me you dwell
So carry on my dear we'll be together very near.

I don't need to write a long letter
To tell you we'll be together
For I know that the special message I already delivered
We'll be together very near
So carry on my dear...

In love again

I had once a lover and fell in love
I had given him all that I have
Never been ready that -he could be-and could be not
Kept his memory tied it in my heart.

I shed a tear from no one's shoulder
Sleepless nights, your voice I hear
Your caress I remember, so loving and tender,
But you are gone how could I stop my tear.

I've wasted many times ignoring you so
Believing your love is fake and untrue
I'm living my life through pain and sorrow
And never realize there's someone like you.

I never thought that I could open my heart again
I didn't expect that I'd love again after the pain
I never imagine that I will welcome you in
You that I treated as an ordinary friend.

Gone

(Inane ramblings of my current state of mind)

by: Mae

Trapped like a seed
Sheltered by its mother's coat
Its embrace cold as winter's night
I am off to a distant land
Away from psychedelic

Created by this bizarre world
Gone to a faraway realm
Free from the curbs of reality

Darkness embodies the revoking silence
As everyone returns to their abode
Resuming their frenzied lives
Haunted by the bizarre convention has imposed

...........But I'm free..........

Some

Some people in time quit when they fall
But some people stay up, continue it all
Some people don't know what they've lost forever
But some people would retrieve now or never

Those low grades could boost up in time
Some people won't care what they'll have in line
But some people still strive yo make it great and straight
Just hope and pray that it won't be too late

Some people wear a heart of gold
They help those who need young and old
But some people won't care what's there for others
They can never be open to show up their colors

Some people are born great leaders at their years
They conquer the world and each others fears
But some people are their to change the earth
For the better in life you know what it's worth

We live in different places, in different ways
In different community and human race
Some have friends and great buds
But all is equal in the eyes of God.

In You

In your eyes I see
True love eternal and free
Overflowing with hope and gladness
You put an end to my sadness.

In your presence I feel
Security that's so real
Keeping me away from harm
I found shelter in your arms.

In you I see
Somebody I long to be
A face so kind and gentle
And a touch so tender, so lovable.

In you I found
The love I am abound
Embracing me so tight
Putting the restless me to sleep at night.

Under the Sea

Under the sea, pretty creatures there you'll see
A wonder that's full wonder, dive in, under cover.
Bring along with you your camera
Capture the beauty of these enchantra

For their world yet under complex
Dive under and you'll be amaze
Watch the colorful pretty creature
Swimming along with your adventure

But be careful, disturbance is failure
Of your experience being venture
For these pretty creatures sensitivity
Are enormous guarded duty.

Set-up your gear and begin to discover
This under treasure indeed a pure wonder
Check-up your tanks if full of air
For you only have little time for this offer.

Dive down and swim with them
But be careful, some are territorial you'll be in danger
Some are just quiet and tame
But some are joyous and proud of their being.

Come on let's hop down under
Swim and smile, enjoy and hover
Let bubbles flew on the surface
And let the boatmen know your down under and amazed.

Though travelling down is so limited
But to see the beauty oh my, it's worth it
Unfold the secrets untold and tell your story so bold
Share it with a smile so broad

If you've problems needed to solve
Swim down under problem's solved.
For those creatures are so adorable
Under water's pure, pure treasure!!!

To the one I love

A million miles away from me
Yet my love for you remains madly, truly, deeply.
I only wish to be with you everyday
To see you when the sun shines 'til it sets and no ray.

We argue, we compromise
We laugh though sometimes we cry.
Been crying for sometimes useless reason
I don't want to go on but I keep on holding on.

Why I love you this much?
A question that I can't answer even my heart.
Everytime I closed my eyes I see your face
Smiling at me with tenderness and grace.

I want to hold your face once more
To feel your kisses that I truly adore
To feel the love of making love
To ease the jealousy of this jealous heart.

Let me be the queen in your dream tonight
Let me tell you I want you and I need your love
Let's just make love all night long in this wary night
Let's put an end of mending our hearts
And let's bind our hearts with this love we have.

I love you and I really do
To be with you a dream I will pursue
Seeing you not slowly breaking my heart
Beeing with you is a happiness that money has not.

Let me love you baby
Let our dreams come true and be with each other's arms
Let our love overflow with passion and touch
With kisses and gentleness of this loving heart.

I want you more than I do from the start
Being away from you makes me crave more for your love
Can't go on without you, just cannot
I want you beside me your apart of my life.

Without you my life is worthless and empty
Without you my heart can beat no more
The beat will stop that sudden solid fast
For I have given you all of my heart.
Damn! all of my heart...

Room of Solitude

The majestic rain towering again
Pouring down it's sadness down from heaven
I wonder why the heaven cry
Is it because he wants to stop my lonely sigh?

Pour down, pour gently, pour softly heavy rain
But please be sure that ditches are well plained.

Come pour down unto me so I can hide
That my tears are flowing down, pains haden't subside.
Come pour unto me and let them not see
That the water that flows down is not from you but from me.

Let them think I'm happy though pains inside
Let them admire my smile the loneliness I hide
Let them hug me and share problems that they have
Don't let them know my hearts breaking, breaking inside.

Let me say I am strong do cover me from storm
Let me smile while I cry, a smile of alibi
Let them draw their strenght to me
Though I'm about to stumble and fall

Rain do pour, do cover my solitude.

Subside...

The sky is dark so is my heart
The breeze is cold it is so odd
The pain is soothing deep within
Now that your gone I'm not the same

It needs time to heal the wound
'Coz my heart's been broken half is gone.
I need to reflect make it whole
For half is gone and half my soul.

You don't need to worry and don't need to be sorry
For this is the end of our sweet, sweet story
But I'll forever keep the mem'ry we'd made
To reminisce those days creeps a smile on my face.

Yes, sometimes so sad when you chose to let go
Even though you know that your heart does love so
But somehow, only somehow it is better to hold not
For love is not a game and even pain has its own feeling.

I may be wrong or could be you
But my heart's been wounded from the first day and so
I tried to mend it but you keep on making me weak
Doing things I'm not over yet, you smashed it on my face.

Do go on, let's go on
For we both have our own lives to live we'll do our best
If you think I'm wrong, I'm sorry
But though forgive me ain't a song of my melody.

I'm still trying to move on and trying to be strong
For this wind that blew me now, or, let's say a storm
Is stronger than typhoon who ends my pasts forms
This is more stronger how will I recover?

But yah, no worries though its a question truly is
But I'm known as a survivor and strong
And mending my broken heart may be labelled by storm
But I still have it's half and I know I can go on.

So, I'll let go of my cry
I'll let go all of my sigh
For my pillow is here listening and wiping my tear
This is our end but my new beginning

My heart's still bleeding
My tears still flowing
But though that I am feeling
I know 1 day it will subside again...

My Song For Tonight ( Roxette )

It must have been love, but it's over now

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
I wake up lonely, there's air of silence
In the bedroom and all around

Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away

It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart
But in and outside, I turned to water
Like a teardrop in your palm
And it's a hard winter's dayI dream away

It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but I lost it somehow
It must have been love but it's over now
From the moment we touched till the time had run out

Yeah, it must have been love but it's over now
It was all that I wanted, now, I'm living without
It must have been love but it's over now
It's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows

It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been love but it's over now

Mom, be here once again...

The day of forlornness I can still feel
Seeing back again the memory that hurts so real.
You left us with our crying eyes
Tears are trickling down our lonely sighs...

My mom, be here once more
For we all missed you our hearts are sores
My father and me the two of my brothers
We all want to be with you do ease our tears.

4 years had gone so wild
To our sudden lives your not in our side
How we all wish to bring you back alive
And we'll all be living happy with smile and jive.

My mom, let me embrace you my gentle coat
For you maybe feeling, feeling cold
My mom, let me make you smile
For you may be so sad for how a while.

My mom, let me whisper you "I love you"
Do listen to my sorrow...
My cries are floating in the midway sky
Wishing you'll hear it do make me smile.

My mom, listen to me gently
You will always and forever remain in our memory,
My mom, do rest safely
For we'll be together again one day...

I have cried a million tears
When you left us full of fears
But though we know it was for better
Still we can't stop we did suffer.

My mom, even for a night
when all our eyes are shut behind close doors
Do visit us even in our dreams
So we can be together... be here once again...

Little Creature

Little creature, come, run hide
For you may be eaten, crashed and died.
Too little, too tiny indeed but still have life
Sneak out slowly from your hiding place at night.

Little are they who valued your worth
For they see you through off spring fold
Never care, never noticed, never wonder
If your a cricket a bug or whatever.

For some, insects are just insect
Transparent, see through and unwanted
But for some who needs your service
Your an angel that heaven had sent.

Work slowly and carefully little one
For the giants might arrived.
They'll stump, they'll clasped, they'll make you run
But be careful their hearts are gone.

Some would carelessly take a glance
Some would look at you but not beyond.
You too have life and do take care
Left and right so you do stare.

Go on with your life though strive and hide
Be careful and show your might.
In trouble though chirp for help
But yet be strong and show your strenght...

My little one take care.
For in mother nature your dearly dear.
Indulge your beauty to those who can't see
And let them see it even me...

Be home once again

I, that hath flown to distant land

Across valleys and accross thy o'ers

Here though suffering from aboad

But to my family that hath, I endured...

To thee that I have been carried

All the sufferings, loneliness to thy I loved

But though this tears hath worth thy while

For I see in their faces pretty smile...

To thy that I have loved,

My family is always in my heart.

Am I, yet far too sudden

But in my heart my beloved are well kept hidden.

For my treasure are thy happiness

To give them everything thy wanted.

To see their happy faces

With love, with hope, with guidance with courage.

I, have flown this far...

Not seeing you from a long, long while.

But my love always keep in mind

That your happiness is what I have ever wanted.

One day, one day in God's will...

I knew I can touch your faces pretty well

Flesh and flooding thoughts and laughter

That will of course fill our room with joyous tear.

I know one day, one day, we'll all be together

Loving, sharing, caressing each other.

Thy love for me I have kept,

In my heart it is locked and sealed.

For I long to see your happy faces once again

Thy God's will I know it will.

Thee that hath I love take care,

For I'm in distant land but have no fear

For God above keeps me away from danger

But gives me comfort makes me stronger.

I am away yet my heart hath stay

For thou I shall comeback thee wait for me.

Thou to God though seek and pray for safety

Have no doubt, have no worry

For I'll be home, be home someday

To my ever beloved loving family...

Another day

I woke up this day, another day.
I opened my eyes new paradise.
I think of days that passed and thanked for it.
For I'm still blessed that a new day had arrived.

Staring at the meadow nearby a butterfly flew
What a nice sight of view a flower show
A wind blew smoothly, making it dance
What a wonderful day! bright and sunny.

Clouds seems dancing up above the sky
Oh, how I wish I have wings so I can just fly
Flying with the birds dancing in the sky
Racing through their highway, up, up and fly!

World is just awesome! truly indeed.
World full of wonders, has it's own universe.
Different kind of creatures, adorable indeed.
Come on let's wander the wonders of this given universe!!!

Let's fly, let's float, let's dance.
Let's swim, let's sing lets hover and cover.
Let's walk,let's crawl, let's run and jump!
Let's clap, let's stop. let's listen and stump.

Hooray, hooray! universe bold and gay.
Swaying stories and history
Lullaby's on the bay.

Sunny sun glitters light
Twinkling beauty to our eye sight.
Sunny sun gives it's ray
Oh, my! come oh my! smile at me sweetly...

Never ending wonder,
Of this beautiful universe,
be thankful for the new day
For sometimes, sun won't give it's ray.

Be thankful, be happy of your new born day
Everyday is a new beginning
Of memory and new story
So seat back and relax enjoy the beauty embark.

Today is the new day
To be happy, to smile and be gay.

Tattoed in my mind

The day I met you was so unforgettable
The way you held my hand, so gentle...
I can never forget that smile in your face,
you smiled at me with passion and gladness...

I have felt how much I was loved by you
I appreciated it and I'm as well loving you so.
But everything really seems to have an end
and in my memory your floating, screaming my name...

I can't take you off my mind
I can't see a thing am I that blind?
I refused to see the paradise beyond
What's the reason of this sudden changed of mind?

But I....
still loving you...
In my mind,
Your tattoed...

But I...
still wanting you
In my dreams,
your tattoed...

But I...
still needing you
In my heart,
your tattoed...

But I...
still longing of you
In my life,
your tattoed...

But I...
still love you so,
I love you,
You're tattoed...

A right time

I heard the tickin' of the clock

And the beat of my heart...

Song keeps on playing

In my mind you are floating

My thought have been calling,

have been calling your name...

Tell me what's wrong to right

But I don't want to argue or fight.

Tell me I'm crazy nor insane

But there's always a right time and timing...

When I say I don't want to talk about it,

it means I don't...

Sometimes it's very important to wait

wait for the right time to talk...

Sometimes the best way to end an argument

is to walk away.

To avoid a fight, be careful, be softly, be gently...

There is a always a right time for everything,

a right time to argue

a right time to fight

a right time to listen

a right time to talk

a right time to walk

a right time to say sorry

a right time your not.

A right time to forgive

and a right time to be forgiven.

A right time to cry,

and a right time to smile.

There's always a right time.

A right time to compromise

A right time to emphasize

a right time to critisize

a right time for good bye's

a right time to step down

a right time to frown

a right time to gnaw

and a right time to let go...

Remember that there's always a right time.

And if I said I'll do,

it means I'll do.

But if you never believed it,

there's no use to continue.

You can let go,

'Coz I'm letting you go...

Let go or Continue...

The magic on my thoughts became real when I met you,

The magic had came true...

The fantasies I was fantasizing were revealed the moment I met you,

Fantasies had came true...

The wonders I wondered made real the moment I met you,

Wonders did came true...

The rolling thunders of kisses I felt in your kisses,

Thunders on my nerves...

Weak bone and chilling spine were your touches definition,

Your touch turns me on...

You kissed me and my blood's boiling with affection,

affection to go on...

Just go on...

Just go on...

But, wait! stop!

I don't need you to break my heart...

But, wait! stop!

We can end this, let's get part...

I don't need to feel the pain

And I don't want to cry again...

Even storms cries thru blowing wind,

Even thunder screams, beats and drumming,

Even lightning shows it's feeling

and cut tree trunks into dusting polluted thing...

What more me?

I'm vulnerable you see...

Even oceans trumpets a huge huge wave

the forlornness you can even felt...

Even rivers overflows to downstream of anger and gnaw...

And raindrops heavy creating a blow...

What more me?

I just loved you as I used to be...

Do you really need to hurt me?

Nope! cannot be...

I've too much of pain and enough of that...

Coz the snow is coming with it's warm gentle touch...

Wait for the hurricane to turn you around

And see the different view from here and beyond...

Let go if you feel like your feeling the pain again...

Let go if you're being trampled like "that" same.

Let go if you can't carry on the pain.

Let go if your heart's being broken...

But, wait! just wait...

Do remember that real happiness

comes and occurs in a very scarce period of time

and if you feel like he's your everything

and that he means the world to you,

Then don't be stupid to let go...

The decision is all up you.

Continue or let go...

Just let me cry...

Are you numb not to feel my pain...

Can't you feel that I'm in vain???



How dare you to ask me what's wrong!

How dare you break my heart so wrong!!!



I loved you and it was real and true...

But you don't deserve it... do you???



I was really happy being with you

And I even decided not to let you go...



I thought it was real

But your just someone who drives me ill.



I decided to live my life for you

To share you the world that I thought was true.



But what have you done???

You're making me cry ,

are those passions a lie

and gone with the lullaby of my cry ?



I am hurt.

Deeply hurt.

Wounded deep.



I'm in tear.

I've no fear.

Leave! I don't care.



I'd rather take the pain at a time

Than be buried by the pains all the time.



I'm not numb!

My heart feels pain.

My feeling gets hurt

and my heart feels it.



I'm not perfect

But I know when to show

and I know when not to.



I'm living my present but I know where to leave the past.

I'm dreaming you for my future

but not with those you have once adore!



You said you trust me,

But have you considered my feeling within?



You said it doesn't mean anything...

But have you tried to ask me if it's ok?



You want me to listen

But have you heard my heart screaming in pain???



I've decided to leave everything for you

But now, I don't know...



You told me I'm the present and the future,

but why drag back your past to the present

that's suppose to be ours?



Past must remain and stay in your past.

Put your past behind.

Leave the past where it belongs.

Where you can sing its songs.



I don't want your past to be in your present and in my presence.

I never asked to your past to be forgotten

but just let them stay where they are suppose to lay.



But now, where're our dream?

It's dying while I'm crying...



Now where are our plans?

It's almost gone...



Track this track of time...

For my feelings and love wouldn't be the same after my tear...



Try to stop the time

For it might not come back if I'll say

it's over and we're done...



Please let me cry...

Just let me cry this time...